For me, Fall & Rise is the story of my life. Not that I consider my life to be particularly hard, or to have involved a lot of failure, but it’s certainly been different than most. That’s because I was born with a condition called Treacher Collins Syndrome. It’s a genetic condition that involves underdevelopment in several areas of the face & head. As a result, I had numerous surgeries growing up, and still have more doctors and appointments than the average person (though most are maintenance at this point).While I don’t consider that to be a tremendous burden or challenge—either in the past or in the present—it’s a fact that I’ve had to endure more than most from a medical standpoint. Surgery isn’t very fun or easy; my parents say I was temporarily depressed after some of them. Yet I always bounced back as strong or stronger than I was before. In retrospect, I don’t even remember much of the depression, and I don’t have negative memories or feelings about my medical history. To me, it is what it is, and it’s all I know. I’d say this positive spirit epitomizes what Fall & Rise is about. I count it a blessing that I have this spirit, as it hasn’t required much conscious effort on my part.What HAS required more conscious effort is remaining positive in my life as an adult. The major medical challenges are mostly behind me, but with being an adult comes increased self-consciousness about my appearance. Having gone to the same school from kindergarten through high school, I was blessed with a comfortable and familiar environment growing up, with good friends throughout. But in college and beyond, I’ve had to make new friends, which requires putting myself out there. This has been scary at times, because I’m nervous about how people will respond to me. Thankfully, it’s been predominantly positive, which I feel blessed to be able to say, because it makes having confidence and self-esteem easier than it would otherwise be.However, when it comes to romance, I continue to struggle. I have yet to ever have a girlfriend, and being a guy, I’m fully aware that physical appearance & attraction play a role in finding a partner. I’ve always had a lot to offer in terms of personality & character, but have been reluctant to pursue every girl I’ve had my eye on, for fear of rejection. The few girls to whom I have made my intentions known have not worked out, usually because of an initial decline of my advances, with one lasting a while and almost turning into an official romantic relationship, but ultimately breaking down. I consider myself somewhat attractive, but I know that I look different, plus I am exceptionally short, have less-than-perfectly clear speech, and have a curved spine that makes me not stand perfectly straight.Nevertheless, I keep trying. Rejection and loneliness suck, but are a part of life. I know I’m not alone, and that if I am meant to find someone, that someday I will. I used to care about this to a fault, where it would be one of the driving forces in my happiness, and my number one focus whenever I went out somewhere where there are girls. But in the last few years, I’ve changed a lot of things in my lifestyle, where I focus on other areas of my life, trying to build up my life in those areas. As a result, I’m happier than I was before, and am better prepared for the future, whether that includes a romantic partner or not.I’m still far from perfect, and vulnerable to fear of rejection and preoccupation when it comes to girls. But as a whole, my life is arguably in the best place it’s ever been. I’ve overcome a lot, and will continue to do so. I still get down sometimes, but thanks to being blessed with an ultimately-positive spirit and a large support network, I have a bright future. Just gotta trust that, enjoy the journey, and take it one day at a time.
